What is SEL Really? Understanding the Five Core Competencies

In many of the classrooms we visit at Thoughts to Action, when we first ask children “How are you feeling today?” - the answers are often simple: happy, sad, or angry. But as weeks go by, and we dive deeper into Social-Emotional Learning (SEL), something magical happens.

Children begin to say things like:

👉 “I feel nervous because I have a test.”

👉 “I’m proud because I helped my friend.”

👉 “I was frustrated, but I took a deep breath.”

This is what SEL makes possible. But what is SEL really? Let’s break it down.

What is SEL?

Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) is the process through which children and adults:

• Understand and manage emotions

• Set and achieve goals

• Show empathy for others

• Build positive relationships

• Make responsible decisions

It is not a subject or a one-time workshop - it is a lifelong skillset.

The framework we follow at Thoughts to Action is built on the CASEL model, which includes five core competencies.

1. Self-Awareness

“I didn’t know I was holding so much inside until we did the emotion collage.”

Self-awareness means recognizing your own emotions, values, and strengths. It helps children answer:

• What am I feeling and why?

• What am I good at? What do I need help with?

We use drawing, journaling, and sharing circles to help children notice and name their emotions. Over time, children learn they are allowed to feel - and that feelings give us important information about ourselves.

2. Self-Management

One student once told us, “I was angry but I used the 5-4-3-2-1 trick and calmed down before talking.”

This skill is about managing emotions, thoughts, and behaviors - especially in tough moments. It includes goal setting, impulse control, and stress management.

In our sessions, we have taught students techniques like:

• Breathing exercises

• “Time-in” spaces to reflect

• Setting personal goals (“I want to speak up once this week.”)

Self-management doesn’t mean not feeling. It means knowing how to respond.

3. Social Awareness

During a storytelling circle, a child said, “I thought she was lazy. But now I understand she comes late because she walks alone from far.”

Social awareness is the ability to empathize with others - especially those from different backgrounds or perspectives.

We build this through:

• Pair sharing

• Community walks and reflection

• Stories of people and places they don’t usually encounter

It opens young minds to the idea that everyone has a story and understanding each other is the first step to compassion.

4. Relationship Skills

“Earlier I would shout back. Now I try asking, ‘Why are you upset?’ instead.”

This core skill teaches how to form healthy relationships, communicate clearly, and resolve conflicts peacefully.

Through role-plays, trust games, and team projects, children learn to:

• Listen actively

• Express disagreements respectfully

• Ask for help

• Apologize and forgive

We have seen friendships form between students who never used to talk - just because they were given a structured way to relate.

5. Responsible Decision-Making

“I didn’t copy in the test. I wanted to be proud of my marks this time.”

This is about making caring and constructive choices - not just for oneself, but for others and the community.

In SEL, we don’t lecture about what is “right” or “wrong.” Instead, we explore:

• Consequences of actions

• How decisions affect others

• What it means to be fair

When children are encouraged to think critically and ethically, they start leading their own lives with integrity.

Why This Matters

In today’s world, where anxiety, screen addiction, and social disconnection are rising, SEL is not a “nice-to-have” - it’s essential. Especially in communities where children face systemic challenges, SEL offers the tools to process trauma, advocate for themselves, and build hopeful futures.

At Thoughts to Action, we have seen that when students learn SEL:

• Classrooms become more peaceful

• Teachers feel more connected

• Learning becomes more joyful and meaningful

Want to Learn More or Collaborate?

If you are curious about how these competencies can be brought to life in your school, NGO, or learning space, let’s talk. We are always open to co-creating safe, expressive environments for children and young people.

📩 Reach out to us at thoughtstoactionjorhat@gmail.com or DM us on Instagram/Facebook.

Every child deserves to be emotionally safe, socially connected, and deeply understood. That is what SEL makes possible.